Do you hear it on the wind? Shhh? A whisper asking you to be quiet. So you can hear the voice of God? I believe He speaks to us always, through every thought, every feeling, every vision our eyes can see. When we learn to listen.
I have discovered that for most of my life I’ve been on a search for words; words to say just what I feel, just what I think or believe, what I mean. Yet words continue to elude me. Then recently I remembered a day when my son was four, before he entered kindergarten. He had repeated swear words he’d heard his father say. “Please,” I had pleaded with my husband “do not use those words in front of the children or they’ll repeat them.”
But I also told my son: “Those are Daddy’s words’ and you aren’t allowed to say them.” At first he listened to me but then he started kindergarten. One day when he came home from school he had learned new words, bathroom words! “Now those,” he said, “are MY words!” I was dumbfounded, hoping if I didn’t make a fuss he would outgrow the need to use them.
But it seems strange to me that all these years later I’m finally aware that the strongest need in my life, has always been to find the words with which to express my thoughts and feelings. Words to say just how I feel, to say how the sky appears to me just before a thunder-storm, as it fills with dark boiling clouds or calmly permits the Sun to shine through. For all my life I’ve been on a search for words.
I have a vision of Truth waiting for me on the peak of a mountain with many paths leading to it, aware my path is only one of many
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Lost Yet Found: My Inner Journey – Part 1
“Now, each event of which you are aware is already a translation of an inner event, a psychic or mental event that is perceived by the soul directly but translated by the physically oriented portions of the self into physical sense terms.” Seth Speaks, the Eternal Validity of the Soul by Jane Roberts
As a child I had several experiences of “seeing things”. One vision was lovely and comforting yet the next one was frightening. So much so that I built up a resistance to seeing things. I kept an eye out just in case something scary tried to appear, to let the bad things know they weren’t welcome. Which worked, mostly. Only a few managed to get through the barrier over long periods of time.
I also carried an image in my mind of a closed door at the end of a tunnel with a light shining from beneath it. Even though I wondered what was behind the door I had no intention of opening it. I was afraid of what I might see.
All of which began to change after I married and had children. I began to question my former beliefs. Things I had assumed to be true. I started on a long journey of self-discovery. What did I know for sure? Not much. Eventually I opened the strange door in my mind. I would later learn it was the first of many more to come.
I tackled the subject of religion. I’d grown up in the Protestant church but had been impressed by a visit to a Catholic church with a friend. I loved the grandeur, the ceremony, the priests in their robes, the beauty and elegance. I made an appointment with a priest. I told him I was considering raising my children in the church. He said I would have to become a Catholic first and gave me some materials to take home and read. I read the material and realized I couldn’t believe all of it. Since he’d said I had to believe what was in the materials, I realized I couldn’t become a Catholic.
The children’s father left such decisions to me. They were still toddlers, all four under five years of age, the third and fourth being twins. So I felt we still had plenty of time to decide which church to join. Meantime we said grace at meals. At Christmas time their father read the story of Christ’s birth to them. They were, of course, sweet adorable children. I was very proud of them.
One day it came to me that all I really had to pass on to my children was who I was (since I had no wealth). I not only should be a good example but also improve myself, try to become a person with the qualities I wanted to pass on to them. Having always been an avid reader I read many of the self-help books popular at the time. But I also read books which helped me to understand myself. Which led to the next door in my mind. I would open it to rediscover my early intuition and spirituality.
In the late Sixties and early Seventies Jane Roberts was contacted by an entity who called himself Seth. She began writing the Seth books. As I read them I found answers to many of my questions.
To be continued
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