One of These Days….

That’s right. One of these days I’m going to finish the things I started—for instance my novel “Calliput Mountain” (whether I change the title or not as I also think of it as “Hanged Man Holler”). I have another novel I began and did a bit of work on before setting it aside “temporarily”. Ha! I tend to do that. But I promise myself (and the Universe if it cares) that one of these days…

Just so you know. That is my intention.

My Experience With the Dwarf Planet Sedna

While my muse lets me rest for awhile she also leaves me free to explore further thoughts on earlier revelations. With my new leisure I find myself picking up threads left dangling from my earlier obsessions. Focusing for the moment on the possible astrological meaning of the recently discovered Dwarf Planets.

To quote astrologer Richard Brown, “the discovery of a new planet is always a challenge to integrate and assimilate into our consciousness, for its discovery means a hitherto unavailable part of our inner self is now suddenly thrust into the bright light of awareness demanding our attention. The newly-discovered planet, Sedna, is a case in point.”

MY INNER SEDNA

Through the research of astrologers like Brown, my study of astrology continues to ignite the bright light of awareness, demanding my attention, helping me to understand the world around me. Not only do the planets represent “As above so below” but also “As without so within”. Since Sedna holds a special meaning for the world at large, it also holds a special meaning in my birth chart. Because all the planets are there when we are born, even those not yet discovered. Their discovery dates mark a future time when we can begin to gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and our world.

Sedna is so slow-moving it was in Aries from before my father was born in 1900 until after my children were born in the mid-Sixties. I was actually surprised when I found it exactly on an angle in my birth chart, conjunct my Seventh House cusp, a very strong presence.

The rule of thumb according to Brown is that the affairs of the house in which natal Sedna is located are where a person either suffers victimization, or simply does not allow victimization if that lesson has been learned in this or a previous life. But once this process is complete, the house placement reveals the area in which the person can be helpful to others during times of great change.

According to the famous astrologer Dane Rudhyar the energies represented by every planet may be manifested and used in one of three or more distinct fashions. Richard Brown describes these three as beginners (mixed in density and descriptive of a majority of the population right now), intermediate (the seekers on their spiritual journey), and spiritual (which makes more sense to him than Rudhyar’s description of enlightenment).

The beginners level for Sedna, according to Brown, is victimization; at this level a person will either be a victim or a victimizer. I find this intriguing since for many years I had found myself saying “I refuse to be a victim”! I was determined to be in control as much as was possible by assuming personal responsibility. Not casting blame or making excuses for my failures. Although I knew there were things in life we were unable to change I felt at least we could determine our response to whatever befell us. I see now that in my struggle to reach the second stage of Sedna I became a seeker on a spiritual journey.

But did I become a victimizer? I did not. And yet I had one child who claimed to be my victim, a claim I refused to accept. She loved her victimhood, embracing it, while I refused to accept the role she cast me in. I did not earn nor will I accept the epithet of victim nor have I been guilty of victimizing others.

Sedna at the intermediate level represents a new energy in which we seek a higher meaning for our lives. I had been seeking this path for many years, determined to do whatever it took to liberate myself from the negativity around me, continuing my refusal to be a victim or victimizer.

SEDNA IN THE SEVENTH HOUSE

Since Sedna moves so slowly entire generations have it in the same sign—so the personal meaning must be found in the house in your chart that it occupies. Houses are simply areas of human activity. According to Brown Sedna on the cusp of my Seventh House reveal victimization in relationships prior to the first Saturn Return (at age 29)and is a major life issue to overcome, especially if Sedna makes harsh aspects to other planets.

Sedna makes a tense Square aspect to my Sun in my natal Fourth House and actually T-Squares my Fourth House cusp, Midheaven or Tenth House cusp and opposes my natal Ascendant. Which is why a planet on an angle is so forceful as it aspects all four angles of the chart. The planets and signs in the Fourth House are also powerful during childhood because family life is a large part of being a child. Although my childhood was harsh due to the death of my father when I was eight years old, yet I was also gifted with older siblings who cared for the younger children until we could fend for ourselves.

Yet, as Kentucky “hillbillies” we faced prejudice from the negative images of our culture. Since I read voraciously from an early age I often came across claims that people of my culture were inferior. We were victimized by the epithets attached to us by others.

The transiting Square of Uranus and Pluto has been impacting my Seventh cusp Sedna for several years but the Square is finally beginning to fade and transiting Uranus will soon hit my Sedna exact. By early fall transiting Sedna will also conjunct my natal Pluto. Facing one’s woundedness (Pluto) leads to personal liberation (Uranus).

A Break From my Muse

Another update? I’ll tell you why. After writing furiously for several months exploring my personal history I have suddenly come to a halt. The anger set loose in the political arena has undermined anything I thought I had to add of a personal nature. My feeling of self-importance has evaporated.

The pattern is familiar, as it has been occurring on a regular basis. Two-plus years ago I decided to focus my attention on astrology, a discipline I had studied and practiced. I soon came to realize the Internet had become crowded with astrology sites and my input was not needed. Which was good. I could continue to learn from the new discoveries and test out the new theories on my own. Without feeling obligated to try to explain them to others.

Before focusing my attention on astrology I had, for several years, been focused on my writing, especially on my novel in progress, “Calliput Mountain”. But the ideas I began to express through the novel also came to a sudden halt. I began to question my theories about the meaning and intent of the things I harbored anger about.

So here I am in the latter part of my life, mute. At least for a time. Perhaps my muse is letting me rest until she opens up a new path for me. I hope it’s not too soon as I’m enjoying relaxing with my adorable grandchildren, the ones who are still young enough to appreciate the regular presence of a grandmother in their lives.

I’m Back (Did you Miss Me?)

I’m working on my life story.  My New Year’s resolution for 2016 is to finish it this year by writing every day.  With today’s input I’m at 46,946 words.  I didn’t know I had so much to say.  Yet I’ve known so many fascinating people in my life who became part of my own story that our combined memories clamor to be told.  
 

 

Gypsies on the Mountain

Mama and I sit on the front porch in the growing dark, watching a string of lights move along the side of the mountain.  I ask her what they are.  “It’s the Gypsies,” she says, “they always come back this time of year.”

“Where do they go off to?”

Mama tilts her head and pauses for a moment. “Someplace on the other side of the mountain, I reckon.”

A storybook picture fills my mind, of a tall covered wagon with pots and pans banging against its sides, drawn by large dark horses and led by dark-skin people in brightly colored clothes, barefoot children with tangled hair dancing along behind.

I see myself, one of those dark-skinned children, not the coming but the going, to that mysterious place on the other side of the mountain, in a Gypsy caravan with twinkling lights.  I wonder if I am really a Gypsy child.

“Why do they come back,” I say.

“Why, to steal our eggs.”

Did they leave me here?  I wonder.  Maybe they traded me for the eggs.

The house is small and dark; we go to bed early to make the lamp oil last longer.

Lying beside Mama in the growing dark I force my eyes to stay open to keep away the monsters that hover in the darkest corner of the room, waiting for me to go to sleep.  When they will invade my dreams and chase me through the terrifying night …..

 

The Changing Tide

I haven’t had the heart to announce on this blog that my darling little Winston passed away in April. He was twelve and a half years old and had developed diabetes, type one, of course. Insulin shots could possibly have prolonged his life for awhile but he was terrified of needles and there was no way I could administer them. His passing left such a hole in my heart that I relented in June and found a Bichon puppy to love. I thank God for the years I had my sweet Winston. I will always miss him.

I’ve also made a decision to begin an astrology service and put all those years of study and experimentation to use. I’ve come to feel I may finally have something to contribute during this time of earthly turmoil. We shall see. I will soon begin my new blog, Astrology Revolution. My fiction writing has been stuck in limbo for some time so I’m leaving it here for now to see if it speaks to me again.

Waiting for Uranus

Did you know there’s a place in the back of your mind
That’s gathering dust?
A place where you’ve stored things
Over the years
Just for awhile, you said
Until you have more time
Until you have more money
Until, until….
Sometimes a small beam of light flickers from this dark place
In the back of your mind
And you wonder, briefly, what it was
But then it goes out and you forget to wonder….
They still wait there, you know, beneath the dust on the shelf in the dark place in the back of your mind
For something
To trigger your memory
And bring back your future